Oh hey. I can't believe I'm running into you right now. Perfect...right in the middle of my 4 year old having a tantrum, calling me "Meanie". Fabulous. But, I know you...I've seen you at Facebook and online mommy groups. You're the good mom.
You set the example for all other mothers. You would NEVER use an ipad and heaven's forbid your child watch TV. You've read the horrors of how ipads are literally cocaine to a child. And surely you'd never give a child cocaine. How horrible of these other parents to do that to their child.
The Right to Judge
When you go to the park, the fairy dusts follow your every step, because perfect mom just arrived. And you watch in horror, oh the horror, as other children misbehave, hit other kids and do everything in their power to not play exactly how they should be playing. I mean, honestly, your child would NEVER do that. How dare that kid there take away someone's toy. And the mom? Do you see the mom? She's just sitting there...doing nothing. Un.be.lievable.
And don't even get me started with the grocery store. Well that's another circus in itself. Did you just see how that mom put Oreos in her cart? Does she not love her child? Because a mother that loves her child, would never feed her little one anything but gluten-free, organic, free-range, natural, preservative-free, paleo EVERYTHING.
Should we talk about education? Because I really think we should. Preschool? What is that?! We all know that kids in preschool are being robbed of play and being forced to learn academics without any interest at all. So, so sad for these poor kids. And I'm not even getting started about daycare. Can you even imagine? Daycare instead of staying home with your child to raise them. Because if you gave birth to them, then only YOU should be the one with them 24/7. I can't imagine not wanting to do that. What kind of mother chooses work over a child?
Thank goodness you're able to help others though. You're part of all the mommy groups so are able to share this wisdom with other moms that haven't reached the status of perfect motherhood that you have. Give them time though, they will learn if they truly put the effort into it.
Until You're the One Judged..
I've seen you. I know you. Hey, maybe I've even been you for a little bit before realizing that, guess what, not any one of us mothers is in any way perfect. Sure, social media may have the perfect portrait of mothering. I mean, who in their right mind is going to put up that one picture of your snotty kid, crying his head off and calling you names? People don't click "Like" on that kind of a hot mess. And plus, who thinks of taking a picture when you'd rather sink into the floor because everyone is watching you and your kid? Yeah, I've been there. And if you haven't yet...you will be.
And if you haven't broken from the "must be perfect mom cycle"...you will. It's coming. It's truly just a matter of time.
So, in the mean time, have some kindness towards the other moms you see that don't have it all together. Give them a smile, a break, a lending hand, a gesture of some sort that says, "I'm with you". Because she'll thank you so much for it (even when she can't say it, she'll feel it) and you'll want the same as well, when the perfect mothering pedestal falls.
And when it does, I've got you. I've been there. Can I lend a helping hand?
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