Why is My Relationship Falling Apart and How to Save It
Your relationship falling apart does not mean you’ve failed. Think of it this way, relationship conflicts can be catalysts for growth.
This article will cover why relationships fall apart and what you can do when your relationship is falling apart.
I know that when a relationship is struggling, it can feel like your life is falling apart. Humans rely heavily on the emotional support and wellness that a relationship brings.
Relationships tend to be the cornerstone of our lives, having forgotten that we were fully human beings before we ever got into a relationship.
Research shows that the thought of a relationship ending (or if it does indeed ends) is the same feeling as losing a loved one. We go through the same grieving process as one who has lost someone to death.
So, suppose you’re finding yourself in a relationship that is falling apart, and you’re feeling all of the feelings. In that case, you should know that this is entirely normal.
However, you may be wondering what to do if your relationship is falling apart, so I will reveal some of the foundational reasons a relationship falls apart and what you can do to save it.
Signs that Your Relationship is in Trouble
Your Arguments Become Toxic
Yes, arguing and disagreements are expected in a relationship with someone. You can be angry, frustrated, and with a desire to take time away from your partner when you’re in the middle of an argument.
But, it is not normal for disagreements to become disrespectful, such as name-calling, yelling, demeaning, and condescending.
Whether or not your relationship started with toxic arguments as part of your norm does not justify their acceptance.
In healthy, conscious relationships, arguments can get heated, but a level of trust and understanding remains throughout.
A good relationship means communicating the same way you’d want to be treated, even throughout an argument.
So, if you find that your arguments are toxic, this is a sign that your relationship is in trouble and falling apart.
Keep reading as we discuss how to save a relationship that is falling apart.
You Can’t Imagine Living Life Without Your Partner
Romantic movies have us believing our identity should be tied to our partners.
It’s common to hear phrases like “You complete me” and think that’s exactly how it should be.
But, one of the most troubling hidden signs that a relationship is in trouble is the feeling that you could not live a happy life without your partner.
It is not to say that humans don’t need humans because we do. But, when we place our value and happiness on someone else, we put a heavy load on the other person.
Placing your sense of happiness on another individual eventually leads to resentment or disappointment when you’re not feeling happy. Many couples, they find themselves in co-dependent relationships.
In a healthy, conscious relationship, individuals feel complete, happy, and self-dependent while sharing their lives. A promising sign of this is when you think you want and desire your partner but do not necessarily need your partner to be happy.
You Constantly Check in on Your Partner
When you’re in a relationship that is in trouble and lacking trust, you may find yourself doing these harmful actions:
- You feel the need to check your partner’s phone and text messages.
- Stalking their social media for disapproving likes and following.
- You need to know their every move and location.
- Questioning what they say because you don’t trust that they are speaking the truth
- Feeling anxiety or discomfort when they leave because you suspect they may be somewhere different.
In a healthy relationship, you have complete trust in your partner; therefore, believe in what they say and trust that their actions around you and away from you are honest and with integrity.
Trust is a strong foundation in a good relationship, so if it isn’t in yours, that’s a sign that your relationship is in trouble.
You Feel Most of the Problems Are Your Partner’s Fault
Do you wish the relationship would be so much better if they only changed this or that?
You may have even had numerous discussions (or arguments) with your partner about what they need to do differently to make the relationship more uncomplicated.
And when discussing your relationship with your best friend, you find that it’s mostly about what your partner does to annoy or irritate you.
In a healthy relationship, each individual recognizes that they are 100% responsible for half of the relationship. So while there may be improvements that your partner can make to create more harmony in the relationship, they are responsible for making that happen.
You can only control your reactions and behaviors but cannot do that for someone else.
Your partner blames you for most of the problems in the relationship, which is a sign that your relationship is in trouble.
You Feel Your Partner is Holding Your Growth Back
You may be at the beginning of a Spiritual Awakening or starting to explore your inner-child wounds and healing. Still, most of the time you try talking to your partner about your experience, your partner dismisses or diminishes your experience.
Your partner may show little interest or desire to learn about your personal growth and experience.
And so eventually, you call your friend to talk since you cannot have these discussions with your partner.
It may show up in personal growth and life, parenting, or work growth.
The one person who should be most happy for you shows little interest.
Whereas in a healthy, conscious relationship, your partner not only cheers you on and actively listens to you but helps you grow and encourages you to achieve your goals.
Couples in a relationship that lacks support will find their relationship falling apart.
Neither of One of You Care to Make it Better
At one point in relationships that are falling apart, one or the other person gives up on making things better.
Oddly enough, you may no longer argue about the same things.
It’s almost as if your relationship is on auto-pilot but lacks emotional support, intimacy, and connection.
The therapy sessions begin to fade away, date nights become less and less, and it’s rare to touch or laugh in playfulness together.
Most people who divorced had thoughts of divorce for at least two years before they initiated the divorce.
Whereas in a healthy relationship, couples know that growth and actively connecting are vital to the wellness of the relationship.
What to Do When Your Relationship is Falling Apart
Even if you see just one of the above in your relationship, it’s time to take action.
I recommend all couples see therapy or coaching as a part of their relationship’s maintenance.
Just like we take our cars in for maintenance, we must also “take” our relationship via a family therapist or a coach specializing in families and couples.
Be proactive and stay proactive throughout the life of your relationship before there are more problems in the relationship.
In addition, individuals should examine their triggers and inner-child wounds and see where those may appear in the relationship. Remember, you are 100% responsible for part, and rarely does a relationship’s health rely on one person only.
A healthy relationship has trust, responsibility, aspirations, forgiveness, and autonomy. These are also what make up a conscious relationship.
A failing relationship can turn around and improve. However, we need to strengthen ourselves first as individuals and as part of the relationship because we cannot control others.
It’s often necessary to lead by example and encourage your partner towards their growth and healing through the attraction of how you are becoming an independent, happy, self-assured individual.
Please know that this does not apply if there’s abuse towards yourself or your children. In that case, your priority is your safety.
But a relationship that has no abuse and is falling apart has hope.
1. Recognize What is Happening
Saving a failing relationship requires a lot of work, but the good news is, that with the right approach, it’s possible to turn things around.
The first step in addressing relationship problems is to acknowledge them.
This might mean recognizing trust issues, a lack of communication skills, or even the presence of unresolved issues that have led to a broken relationship.
It’s crucial to understand that even in difficult times, there are new ways to make the relationship work.
2. Spend Quality Time Together
Let’s talk about the importance of spending quality time together.
In today’s busy world, couples often struggle with finding enough time to connect. This is especially true in a long-distance relationship.
However, dedicating specific times to be together, and engaging in activities that both partners enjoy, can strengthen the bond and foster a healthy relationship.
3. Establish Healthy Communication
Communication is another vital aspect.
Poor communication can lead to a lot of misunderstandings and negative feelings.
To improve this, both partners need to make a conscious effort to share their thoughts and feelings openly and regularly.
Engaging in honest conversations is a good idea to clear up any misunderstandings and address potential problems.
4. Rebuild Trust
Trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.
If there’s a lack of trust, it can create a rift between partners. Working on rebuilding trust might involve addressing the underlying causes of the breach of trust and taking full responsibility for one’s actions.
This process can be facilitated by seeking professional help, such as couples therapy, where a relationship therapist can provide guidance and strategies to rebuild trust.
5. Appreciate the Little Things
In any relationship, it’s the little things that often make a big difference.
Showing appreciation, giving positive feedback, and acknowledging the good things in the relationship can go a long way in maintaining a loving connection.
These actions help to create an open space where both partners feel valued and understood.
6. Physical Contact and Emotional Intimacy
Physical contact, like holding hands, hugging, or simply sitting close to each other, can also play a significant role in maintaining emotional intimacy.
For couples experiencing a rough patch, reintroducing physical closeness can help reignite feelings of love and connection.
7. Do Your Own Inner Work
If you’re in a situation where the relationship is struggling, doing your inner work is crucial. This might involve individual therapy to deal with personal issues that are impacting the relationship.
By improving your mental health, spiritual wellness and understanding your core values, you can better contribute to a successful relationship.
8. Seek Help Early
For those in unhappy relationships, considering the best course of action is important.
Sometimes, the right time to seek a couples therapist or a relationship coach is when you first notice signs of a damaged relationship, rather than waiting until it’s in a downward spiral.
These professionals can offer insights and exercises to help you and your partner develop new skills, such as effective communication and handling conflict, which are essential for a healthy relationship.
9. Reflect on the Relationship’s Foundation
Remembering why you entered the relationship in the first place can be a powerful motivator.
Reflecting on the initial connection and the reasons behind your commitment can remind both partners that the relationship is worth fighting for.
At the end of the day, if both partners are willing to put in the hard time and effort, a healthy relationship can be maintained or restored.
10. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Consider cognitive behavioral therapy as a form of healing the relationship.
With this method, your therapist helps you and your partner change how you think and act. This therapy stops behaviors and thoughts that are hurting your relationship.
It also boosts your communication skills and problem-solving abilities.
11. Practice Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Using this approach, your therapist helps you better understand and manage your emotions.
As you use EFT, you learn to express your needs and feelings in a way that brings you and your partner closer instead of causing fights.
12. The Gottman Method
This method, created by psychologists John and Julie Gottman, guides you and your partner to become better friends, argue healthily, and create a shared life story.
You’ll engage in exercises and activities to enhance closeness, improve communication, and solve conflicts more effectively.
Remember, you and your partner must be committed to working hard and making changes for these methods to succeed.
Ultimately, you’ll have to determine if you’re willing to re-commit to yourself and your partner. It’s best to make that decision once you’ve healed and reached more growth within yourself and with the help of a therapist or coach.
Takeaways for Saving Your Relationship
In conclusion, the first thing to recognize in a long-term relationship is that preventing a dying relationship requires insight from relationship experts and dedicating much time and hard work.
The primary reason for many relationship struggles can be issues in the sex life, which necessitates honest conversation to create a loving relationships.
Addressing relationship issues is the most important thing for sustaining true love and building the best relationships with a reader-approved status.
Healing emotional pain and understanding the important aspect of learning from a partner’s mistakes is the only thing that will make your partner feel supported during a tough time.
It’s imperative to address issues like physical abuse and involve family members or professionals when needed.
Exploring different ways to connect and understanding that healthy couples may face the end of a relationship shows the best way to meet a partner’s needs over a long time.
Engaging in different things in real life, respecting different beliefs, and being open to significant change are often the best options to remove negative energy and take responsibility for own actions. I
mproving your love life and finding the perfect place for the next steps in your union will reveal what kind of person you are and the key thing in a romantic relationship.
Ultimately, honest discussions are essential in navigating the path to a fulfilling partnership.
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